Confessions of a Film Lover! -- Tag

This tag converts movie quotes into movie questions, and yes, did require some confessing on my part.


1. "Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man." - The Big Lebowski 
Your most unpopular film opinion:
That Captain America: Civil War was halfway a terrible movie. I've seen it three times now, and can enjoy it well enough to continue watching it whenever the situation calls for a huge superhero blockbuster, but that's only in spite of the issues I have with it. Seeing it in the theaters it felt like being pelted with backhanded insults for two and a half hours, (read: IT WAS NOT FUN) and as the credits rolled I sat with my head in my hands confused as to whether I wanted to start yelling expletives at the screen or just cry. Yet I wasn't at all surprised when everyone else in the group I saw the movie with (save for my youngest brother who's even more of a film cynic than me, and generally doesn't like MCU movies) absolutely loved it.

STOP! FIGHTING!!!

The problems I had with it were enhanced by the other half of the movie being exceptionally well-done what with all those spectacular fight scenes and a bunch of lovable characters, and basically boils down to this: The plot was painfully contrived, and it forces characters to do things out of their established character; and to cover it up, the film attempts to emotionally manipulate the audience. Feeling like my emotions are being purposefully manipulated while watching a film is probably my biggest movie pet peeve, which is probably why I dislike this movie so much more than most. Check out my review of Civil War here for a more in-depth explanation of my opinions!


2. "The limit does not exist!" - Mean Girls 
A Guilty Pleasure film you can watch over and over again:
I thought about this, expecting it'd end up being some girly flick similar to Mean Girls, like maybe Clueless, which I love; but I realized that all the girly rom-coms I love I don't feel guilty over. The movie I rewatch the most and feel movie-guilt for enjoying is actually Peter Jackson's King Kong. You may say it's a great film and I shouldn't feel guilty over it (or the opposite!) but that's not the point. The 2005 King Kong is my biggest guilty pleasure film -- possibly just because the rest of my family hates it, but there you go. In many ways I think the movie is genuinely an excellent film. The technology used for Kong, the cast, the scenes before the island... it's main problem is the dinosaur chase sequence which did not hold up animation-wise, and it does have that sappy, overly-dramatic tone going on at the end too. That's what King Kong is though, and I really enjoy it. I don't even mind the runtime!

3. "Are you not entertained?!" - Gladiator
A film that is universally loved that you found boring:
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. I'm not sure if this movie counts fully as universally loved, but when I first saw it and found it boring it certainly did seem that way. My brothers and I were all quite bored watching this, and even had a hard time making fun of it's overly serious and depressing tone. Since then I re-watched it alone and was able to appreciate the motion-capture performances of the apes -- mainly Koba, Toby Kebbell, who I was just starting to pay attention to at the time. Recognizing the actors behind the apes was interesting in it's own way, but I still maintain that the movie and its plot is overall very boring, building glacially up to a war that we'd have to wait 3 years to see. (Read my review for more ranting on the subject!)

And even then Koba's dead so who cares?

4. "Sorry! My Prada's at the cleaners! Along with my hoodie and my 'f*** you' flip-flops, you pretentious douchebag!" - The Social Network
The most pretentious film you've ever seen:
Oh that's easy: Gravity. As a lover of scifi, I am, of course, perfectly capable of suspending disbelief for the sake of enjoying movies that don't completely respect the laws of this world. Like physics. How. Ever: Gravity gets no such pass, because it was marketed and presented and acclaimed as the most realistic space-set scifi film ever made. And yes, it looks pretty darned realistic -- until their blatantly ignoring the laws of physics and general reality gets in the way! All done, I might add, to propel a plot that otherwise couldn't have made it an inch off the ground. It's pretty, yes, but if you're gonna be that smug over the greatness of your film, maybe make it actually as great as you claim.

For your viewing pleasure: CinemaSins! My biggest issue with this one is mentioned at 2:48, but honestly I agree with them all.



My second biggest issue isn't mentioned in the CinemaSins though. It's actually the scene where Stone is in the ship crying, and the tears drip off her face and float slowly towards the camera. Back to emotional manipulation again, because in reality tears in zero-g will just accumulate on your eye in a bubble, as demonstrated in this neat video:


This fact that the movie did what it did instead of adhering to the laws of reality is evidence that its true motivation was not to be realistic, but simply to market a trite and contrived story under the guise of being groundbreaking in film realism. Read my review of Gravity here for more unrelenting bashing.


5. "Draw me like one of your French girls." - Titanic
A film that describes your aesthetic:
Disclaimer: I have no idea what "aesthetic" is. I know the proper definition, and I've certainly seen it used as a kind of exaggerated meme, but I don't know what "my aesthetic" is, or how a movie could describe it. So I'm just going with a movie that has a tone and visual makeup that appeals to me. (Which is probably exactly what I was supposed to do!) And that movie is Mud. I won't even attempt to describe the aesthetic except to say the director Jeff Nichols said that he wanted the film to flow like the Mississippi River (an important backdrop in the film) -- and it did. You can read my review of the film here (which I wrote before I fully understood the complete reasons why I loved it) and I'll leave you with a compilation of its cinematography:

6. "That's a bingo!" - Inglourious Basterds
A director who has never let you down:
Jeff Nichols. It's a high standard to live up to, and the more film's you've made the more likely it is that you disappointed in some way. I immediately thought of him, but then thought there had to be some other director who's done more than five movies who never let me down, but no. I still haven't seen his fifth film, Loving, but even with four he still wins. Shotgun Stories, Take Shelter, Mud, and Midnight Special are not only films that have merely not let me down, they in fact all blew me away in one way or another, and are all among my favorite films. Click the links to read my reviews of each of them!

The posters look so good together too.

7. "Don't believe his lies." - Memento
A film you were told was bad but you loved:
This one I'm giving a tie because both the movies have the same set of circumstances. The Brothers Bloom, and The Darjeeling Limited; both considered by the general movie-going audience to be the worst movies of their respective directors, Rian Johnson, and Wes Anderson, but are actually my favorites from them. (Though I haven't seen all of Andersons films.) The Brother's Bloom (review) has a few plot holes, but is of a fun and underused genre, is very funny and incredibly charming, has a great cast playing great characters, and (to me at least) is decidedly heartfelt.

(I know neither of these movies are commonly considered bad. This is the best I could do.)

(I just realized both these films star Adrien Brody. I wonder if that has anything to do with anything... .... ...eh.)

For The Darjeeling Limited the biggest criticism I hear is that it has no plot or makes no sense, but that is the appeal of Wes Anderson in the first place for me, and for some reason this one's particular brand of ambiguity resonates rather deeply with me. It does have seemingly pointless moments but also some meaningful ones too, and I like it all. I love watching the relationship of the brothers (oh hey -- both these movies focus on brothers too!) and their journey to find something that maybe they do find, but can't quite put their finger on what it is. For me, it works. Plus I love the music, and it's often hilarious. 


8. "It's only forever, not long at all." - Labyrinth
If you could only watch one film for the rest of your life, what would it be?
I'm gonna go with The Lord of the Rings trilogy on this one because I can get away with it counting as one film. Extended editions too, of course. Obviously if I could only watch one movie the rest of my life I'd want it to be a long one so it'll grow old more slowly, but really, if I could only watch one movie for the rest of my life I would spend a whole lot more time reading. In which case, I might pick The Way Way Back (review) because there's no book version of that.

But no -- let's not get complicated -- Middle Earth wins.

9. "Were you rushing or were you dragging?” - Whiplash
A long film you thought was perfectly paced:
To be honest I like long movies, and as long as I find the plot or the characters interesting I'm hard to bore. So how about this: It's technically a mini-series, not a film, but the 1995 Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth. It's five hours long, and so well structured that I cannot leave the room for even two seconds without pausing it to prevent my missing anything good. Read my enamored review here!

"You can never get a film long enough, or a bowl of popcorn large enough to suit me." -- Me, plagiarizing C.S. Lewis a bit.

10. "As you wish." - The Princess Bride
Your film dream team. (Directors, writers, genre, actors, music, whatever.)
Right now, after a bit of daydreaming, I would like to see Damien Chazelle write and direct a scifi noir film. I love the genre mashup of noir and scifi, and I think he absolutely had the ability to capture the right tone. His movies have a palpable energy to them and I'd love to see how that marries with subtle and dark tones like that of Blade Runner, Dark City, or Gattaca. The music could be jazzy since he likes that.

And because I've been noticing and enjoying these two a bunch lately, it should star Toby Kebbell and Vanessa Kirby. Neither of them get many leading roles -- that is to say, almost none -- but I absolutely think they have the talent for it, especially if the characters are not your typical leading types but more character-types. I bet Kirby could pull off the mysterious woman/possibly femme fatale excellently, and I know for a fact that Kebbell can do that hard-boiled-but-surprisingly-soft-on-the-inside type.

Since it's a Chazelle film it should have J.K. Simmons in an important supporting role too. Something for him to have fun with, or surprise with. It could be set in space, or the distant future, or just an alternate reality altogether; and I'd probably prefer if it focused mostly on character and intrigue, but had some good action in it too. With all those elements in place there would be no way the movie could disappoint me.

Now I'm depressed because it won't never exist!

_________________

I got this tag from Kyle Gaunt -- check out his YouTube channel here, and follow him on Twitter @kg_moviereviews! And if the tag seems fun to you, don't hesitate to participate! I suppose you can actually tag people if you want, but it's more of a loosely-structured thread. I hope you enjoyed reading my answers and weren't offended by my opinions which are definitely the only right opinions to have! Just kidding -- leave me a comment and tell me where I'm wrong! Or if you agree. Or just your thoughts in general. Thanks for reading!

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Major spoilers throughout!

And with this final installment of The Hobbit, it strikes me most interestingly how similar Peter Jackson's prequels-to-a-masterpiece are to George Lucas's. The only significant difference is that Jackson had a much bigger budget at his disposal. But I did manage to put aside the mental image of PJ rolling in his oodles of cash and giggling, and enjoyed this final Middle-Earth movie for what it was.

Sometimes it was beautiful.

And often, it was funny. I rolled my eyes with good humor at Bard riding that wagon down the hill, nearly killing his children in order to save them, and raised my eyebrows at the trolls that looked like grumpy old geezers. I definitely chuckled at the Catapult Trolls, and the one who had chains for eyes was amusing...ly disturbing.

Legolas, Captain of the Obvious and Ridiculous (Orlando Bloom) gets to one-up his Lord of the Rings era antics several times, like when he rides a giant bat in a scene straight out of Peter Jackson's King Kong. (He figured we'd all slept through that moment or forgotten it by now, but I remember!) "These bats were bred for a single purpose: so I can be awesome at no creative expense of the director!" But that was nothing compared to his fight with Bolg and how hard I laughed when Legsie lightly springs off stones as they fall, jumping to safety, and ignoring those pesky laws of physics.

"What are we doing here, Legolas?" "I'm not sure... making sure this movie really, really long, I guess." "Cool." "Let's be dramatic for a second and then head back to the action."

But at least Captain Obvious wasn't annoying. I spent the whole movie tolerating the scenes that Alfrid hijacks on the confidence that he would get his just deserts before then end. And does he? No -- so why again was he taking up all my beloved characters' screen time?
 

Additions were mostly laughable, but when it came to changes, indifference was the best I could manage. Two changes are worth mentioning because of the importance I put on them: Firstly, the deaths of Thorin (Richard Armitage) and his nephews. I was neutral for the most part on Kili (Aidan Turner) and Tauriel's (Evangeline Lilly) romance, because while I thought it was a little silly I knew it couldn't come to anything, and figured it could do no harm. I was proved wrong when Kili's developmental focus was shifted from loyalty for his uncle to infatuation with an elf lady. In the end he died for her, not for Thorin, like he and Fili (Dean O'Gorman) nobly do in the book. Here Fili gets an even worse fate, as he hardly get any development at all, and then is killed as a taunt to spur the other two doomed dwarves on. Still, while I don't approve of the context, Fili and Kili's deaths were certainly affecting -- Fili's perhaps the most, so that's good for him -- and forgetting anything that had to do with ice, Thorin's death was good, and in fact quite moving as he makes his peace with Bilbo.

Why Tolkien, why?

And secondly, the death of The Dragon. (The Magnificent Benedict Cumberbatch) As you know, I had high hopes for this scene. It is my absolute favorite part of the book -- Bard, a regular man, takes his last arrow, a regular arrow, and with knowledge of the dragon's weakness fires that regular arrow from his regular, trusty bow, and it finds its mark and sinks in, "barb, shaft, and feather." And the Great and Terrible Smaug is brought down by such a little thing because of his carelessness, vanity, and pride. PJ's version becomes overly complicated for no clear reason, and all but destroys the power of the moment. Still, after the arrow sinks in (not all the way, I noticed with disappointment) the rest of the scene was exactly as it should have been, and therefore great.

I did like that they gave Smaug some more dialogue. He can have all the dialogue he wants!

In the realm of characters, the most compelling was the King Under the Mountain himself Thorin. The madness of King Thorin was a thing to behold, and handled well from all aspects. Richard Armitage really was, and proved himself to be a great choice for the king, from his distinctive voice to his expressive eyes and perfect nose, to his remarkable ability to be so convincingly violent, and then equally convincingly kind and affectionate.

On a totally different note, I suddenly feel a need to watch North and South...

Next, our hero Bilbo Baggins. And I will only ever have praise for Martin Freeman's iconic performance as the iconic Hobbit, but this film doesn't give him as much to do as the previous two. Still, obviously, what he does do never fails to add continuous sparks of life to a film that often borders on boring from being so drawn out. I loved his dilemma over the Arkenstone, and how all that played out so similarly to the book. The conflict between him and Thorin was probably the best thing about this movie, from the very beginning through Thorin's death scene, their relationship was nothing but quality.

The scene of Thorin gifting the Mithril mail to Bilbo was just perfect.

And then there's Bard, (Luke Evans) my favorite side character, and after he kills Smaug his role is only just beginning. Even though in the book he was in a position of power from the first, this Bard's transition from Bard the Bargeman, to Bard the Bowman, to Bard the Leader, and a man who can hold his own while counseling with a wizard and an elf king is as natural and believable as anything, because that's simply who the character is. He did rather disappear into the confusion of the climax though, which was too bad, and the plot line about he and the Lake Town people getting their money was left hanging.

Bard the Negotiator.

And speaking of elf kings -- Lee Pace. Thranduil's character development had some interesting drama in it. His final approval of Tauriel and Kili's romance was a bit too much and a bit too silly, but otherwise his conflict with Tauriel was interesting, and with Legolas even more so. He has such a striking appearance and cool, majestic presence; so that when he becomes confused or doubts himself it's done so subtly, yet is somehow jarring to see. He is also the first and only elf to really impress on me the weight of the immortality of the elves -- he makes it believable and a important part of him.

He's also the most fabulous elf-king in all of Middle-Earth!

All the dwarves besides Kili and Thorin are basically left alone for this movie, and as always, I wish some of the pointless action sequences had been traded in for more character for those on the sidelines. Fili and Balin (Ken Scott) get their tiny bit, and Dwalin (Graham McTavish) gets his second to show of fighting skills, but my favorite, Bofur (James Nesbitt), who actually had a part in the last movie is forgotten, along with Bifur (William Kircher), Bombur (Stephen Hunter), Dori (Mark Hadlow), Nori (Jed Brophy), Ori (Adam Brown), Oin (John Callen), and Gloin (Peter Hambleton).

And Bofur if that guy who hides behind someone's head in the group picture...

The dwarf king Dain Ironfoot (Billy Connolly) was a short but fun addition to the dwarf ranks though. I loved how Scottish he was, and how his beard looked like tusks. His ride -- well, I won't go there. Late-to-the-party Beorn was a sight for sore eyes, but his appearance was turned mostly to an excuse to see him turn into a bear whilst falling from the sky, which was quite a sight I admit, but seconds after he lands, we never see him again. As for Gandalf (Ian McKellen), the members of the White Council, and their adventures; Sauron was cool, because his name is Cumberbatch, as were the Nine, but overall nothing happened, and that plot line was useless.

Interestingly, I actually started liking Azog (Manu Bennett) in this one. Perhaps because this is where he finally fits in and has a part to play.

On the technical side it is definitely worth commending the CGI quality which was disappointing in An Unexpected Journey, but wasn't noticeably bad here, and therefore must have been good. Or maybe I got used to it. The cinematography was occasionally nice to look at, (like in the scene of parley between Thorin and Bard, which was great and a great scene besides) but more often, it looked tired, which makes sense. The directing and writing was tired as well -- there was a lot that was a bit too familiar. In the score's case though, the familiarity was a pleasant quality. I still love the Bard and the Lake Town themes, and enjoyed the variations on those, and a few others. And then of course there was Billy Boyd's song played in the credits, and it was fitting and lovely.

And so, I bid The Hobbit a very fond farewell. And I was fond of these new films -- mainly the wonderful, endearing, magnificent characters that populated them -- but the fondness of this goodbye is more out of my sentiment than a reluctance to see them leave.

Roads go ever ever on

  Over rock and under tree,

By caves where never sun has shone,

  By streams that never find the sea;

Over snow by winter sown,

  And through the merry flowers of June

Over grass and over stone,

  And under mountains in the moon.

Roads go ever ever on

 Under cloud and under star,

Yet feet that wandering have gone

  Turn at last to home afar.

Eyes that fire and sword have seen

  And horror in the halls of stone

Look at last on meadows green

  And trees and hills they long have known.

Battle of the Five Armies -- Credit Song by Billy Boyd!

In perfect conclusion to The Hobbit Trilogy, Billy Boyd (who played Pippin in The Lord of the Rings Trilogy) wrote and performed this beautiful song, "The Last Goodbye" for the end credits of The Battle of the Five Armies. They made the perfect choice in my book with this, as Billy reminds us of the beginning of this world being brought to life on screen -- that has now come full circle. Plus, he's just downright a great writer and singer, and the song is wonderful.

Click here to go and listen to it!

I can hardly wait to hear it in theaters, even though when I am it'll mean that the film and this trilogy is over.

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies -- main trailer!

No more of Pippin singing "Home is Behind" and teasing, lingering shots of grandeur -- the full trailer for The Battle of the five Armies is here, and it's non-stop fantasy action:



First of all: "These bats are bred for one purpose: for war!" -- Legolas. Hahahahaha. That was so hammy I feel like PJ is just making fun of us fans now. He's already won; he doesn't even need to pretend to try to make this movie better than or even as good as the previous two. He knows we're going to watch it no matter what, and I so am.

But, anyway, looking past all the dreaded additions made apparent in this trailer, I am certainly excited for this. I know the battles will be epic, but I hope the drama is done well too. The conflict between Thorin and Bilbo has tons of potential. The trailer does look promising on that score, (wow, Kili) so that's exciting.

And I want to see what they do with added characters, particularly Tauriel.

And I want to see more of Martin Freeman being Bilbo, cause when he's being Bilbo, he's being Bilbo like no one else.

(Spoiler Warning)
Then, of course, there's the little matter of Smaug, which is, of course, NOT AT ALL A LITTLE MATTER, AND I'M DYING TO SEE IT. I seriously worry that after Smaug's death everything after will "savor of anticlimax" as Fitzgerald says. Actually, I have a prediction about this -- I predict that Bard will try to use the last Black Arrow on Smaug but will miss, then will use a regular arrow and the knowledge of his one missing scale to kill him. It'd be more similar to the book that way, and would make Bard look awesome. I mean, more awesome.
(End Spoilers)

Oh, I just want to see it now so I can stop worrying about it not being as good as the first two... even though when I think about it, it's unlikely that it'll be anything but just like them: a mixed bag of incredibly awesome realizations of the wonderful novel, and mildly annoying Jackson additions.

Can't. Wait.

Thoughts on the trailer? How excited are you for the final Hobbit chapter? Leave a comment!

Battle of the Five Armies -- New Photo

Like with they did for the first movie (can't remember about the second -- anyone?) Peter Jackson and Co. have released a "tapestry" photo for The Battle of the Five Armies. (Or, as I fondly think of it, There and Back Again. Infinitely easier to type.)

Click here to see the full size.

First of all, I couldn't be happier with the image of Bard's silhouette facing Smaug. Looking so small compared to the dragon, but amazingly epic. As soon as I finish this, I'm going to do some cropping and add it to my computer background slideshow.

Then in the very next frame, we have "what in the world is going on?" It appears that Gandalf will be getting Galadriel into trouble. Not very nice of him.

I also really like the green section of Thorin on his throne, looking kingly and brooding and epic. And Bilbo, great as always, no surprise there.

Tauriel is looking very beat up, but Legolas is still pretty.

There's Thranduil's giant white elk again, and it also looks like one of those five armies has some giant goats at their disposal.

Then there's Thorin again in battle with his nephew's Kili and Fili, looking good.

And Bilbo in the hero shot. I am wondering about the flock (pack? swarm?) of bats above him though. I hope PJ remembered that he's already done giant bats in King Kong.

My excitement for this film has been duly kicked up another notch.

The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug

Last year I was impressed by the individual components, but ultimately disappointed by the first installment of Peter Jackson's The Hobbit, and I dwelt on the disappointment. Now, PJ hasn't done an about-turn, and starting making the films by my specifications, but I never expected that. Instead I have somewhat come to terms with the way he's making them, knowing I'll enjoy what I can as a completely hopeless fan of Middle Earth. That loyal fan inside me could continue relentlessly tearing apart these adaptations -- but unhelpfully, and disproportionate to my discontentment. There are mountains of good things to dwell on, and so I will.

The characters coming to life on the screen is certainly one of the biggest pluses of these movies, so I'll spend most of my time on them, easily, and gladly. The first new character we meet is Mikael Persbrandt as Beorn, and he's the only character with an unexpanded role... so far. But he's still adapted well -- very wild and intimidating. We already got a sneak peek at Lee Pace as Thranduil in the last film, and now we see him fully characterized as the elegant and cold elf-king, and it's a striking success.

I know everyone says this, but, his crown!

Also hailing from Mirkwood, Tauriel is beautiful, powerful and graceful in the hands of the very cool Evangeline Lilly, and no longer can people call her "made up" as she's identified as the captain of the guard. Her role is certainly expanded though, and welcome. And even more at home, I dare say, than her superior, prince Legolas. Orlando Bloom returns to play him, but still doesn't get much substance to work with. However, he doesn't have any Captain Obvious moments either (my brother and I were disappointed) and his elven fighting skills are better than ever and he and Tauriel tear it up with cool choreography in quite a few exciting action sequences. The worst thing about him is that the light blue contacts very often look distractingly unnatural.

Elves. For fighting like dancing.

Now my man Bard, who was a favorite in the book; I now realize I had just cause to be nervous for this character's expansion and characterization -- I had no idea of what to expect going in, but fortunately, what we get is a wonderful surprise. Bard is a meaty character worthy of every extra scene plus some, and Luke Evans digs in with contagious gusto, effortlessly carrying his scenes, and making it unavoidable to not accept and root for this super cool classic hero completely. When he runs across a row of tiny boats, then surfs the last one with ease was the moment I realized I'd been suckered by a slick bargeman (and a certain director) and didn't mind. Also working well to his advantage is giving him a regular everyman job and kids, who are invented characters, and some actually worthwhile ones.

The name's Bard. Bard the Bowman.

Smaug is that one all-important element that made everyone excited and hopeful for this movie, and I built my anticipation up so much it seemed unlikely that I could be anything but underwhelmed, but instead I was stunned. He's incredible -- red and gold, long and enormous, beautiful and menacing, classic and imaginative -- in the first full shot of him as he rises out of his vast mountain of gold, I was completely awed. And then he began to speak. And this is more than I dared hope for, even though I knew Benedict Cumberbatch was providing vocals and motion-capture, but not only does he sound like Cumberbatch... he looks like him too. More than you would think a dragon even could, and as he moves and speaks you see Cumberbatch embody a majestic, villainous beast, and it's simply incredible. Cumberbatch exceeds expectations yet again, and Jackson proves he can still make something truly amazing.

"Truly -- the tales and songs fall utterly short..." If only I could show you what Bilbo sees!

For the characters we already know and love from the previous film, Bilbo still stands out, usually an ironic head and shoulder above the rest. Martin Freeman is still the only person for the role, and yet is not content to ride the current he already has going for him. Bilbo is getting developed wonderfully well, adding courage, confidence, and... obsession, and gets his share of well-deserved great moments as the titular hero. Thorin is also on a great path of development, guided very well by Richard Armitage. He is growing him so gradually more and more obsessed, desperate and rash that you hardly notice it, until you're surprised by some out-of-character response, and then realize it actually wasn't. I can hardly wait to witness the conflict between these two in the next movie -- the tension is already palpable.

"If this is to end in fire, then we shall all burn together!" Let's just hope Thorin doesn't try to pull a Denethor...

One big change from the book here is that as the company leaves Lake-town, four dwarves are left behind. It seemed at first to be a ridiculous, pointless idea, but the result was surprisingly helpful, as, by splitting up the dwarves, it much easier to develop them individually. The recipient of most of the available development is Kili, (Aidan Turner) who also gets a little extra in Mirkwood when he is smitten with Tauriel. In this movie he jumps from the status of "one of the dwarves" to being undoubtedly his own character, and I only wish they all could get that treatment. Still, others get their varying amounts of attention, Fili (Dean O'Gorman) Bofur (James Nesbitt) Oin (John Callen), and Balin (Ken Scott) getting a noticeable extra.

Dwarves. Can't deal with 'em, can't kill 'em, 'cause you don't have any decent weapons.

Ian McKellen and Gandalf spends most of his time away from the dwarves doing his wizard things, sometimes with Radagast (Sylvester McCoy) (and Benedict Cumberbatch, in the movie twice, voicing the Necromancer) and while I found that plot-line to be more boring than the rest, it's still Gandalf, so of course he's still great.

In fact, there are only two big things that truly bothered me.

One: The orcs. There is a little merit to having them chase the dwarves, and their appearance -- like urukai on steroids with a twisted fashion sense -- is forgivably silly. Whenever there's a scene with just the orcs though, they speak orcish, and it's very annoying on the ears. Plus those scenes are a waste, because all they ever say is the same: "Let's go kill the dwarf scum!

Two: (Spoiler) In the climax of the film, when the dwarves come up with an elaborate and far-fetched plan to kill Smaug, lead him through the mountain, and then try to drown him in molten gold. I only realized afterward that it was supposed to be the climax! (End Spoiler) The whole sequence is uninspired and cheap feeling, with only one very cool shot after the fact.

Dwarves overlook the desolation of Smaug -- the ruins of Dale.

For the most part though, the action sequences were much improved, as are the majority of adapted scenes. More things are added than changed. And in fight scenes, nothing looks like a video game this time. The uneventful escape down the river in barrels was turned into a lengthy sequence, but happily it wasn't boring or (much) annoying. The spiders' episode was probably my favorite bit of adapting though, probably mostly because it was like the book, just in movie form. And the highly anticipated scene of Bilbo meeting Smaug, while not quite reaching the level of the Riddles in the Dark writing-wise, is still is nothing but impressive.

Yay, barrels!

I have come to terms with it -- these movies are not like the book I love, and since I loved Tolkien's Hobbit first I will probably always love it most. Some of The Desolation of Smaug was pure brilliancy and truly awesome, and some draws contempt from that loyal fan in me, but still I left the movie excited with anticipation from the cliffhanger ending, loving the characters, and happy for the improvement on An Unexpected Journey, so how can I deny the truth: that, with all its flaws, I found a way to love it anyway.

New Trailer: Desolation of Smaug

An exciting feeling of restless anticipation will surround me throughout the next week or so, now that I have seen the latest Hobbit trailer! Have a look for yourself:



Okay, I don't usually admit these types of things, but, I fangirled. Like with the first Hobbit movie, I can confidently predict that at least two things will happen in this movie perfectly: Martin Freeman's Bilbo (of course) and Benedict Cumberbatch's Smaug. He will undoubtedly be... well... stupendous! And the scenes they'll have together... oh my. I am also very excited for the potential that Luke Evan's Bard is showing. he's shaping up to be the Aragorn of these films!

What do you think, Hobbit fans, of the new trailer? What new characters are you most excited to see? Is it possible that December 13th could come too soon?

Middle-Earth Questions

I'm joining in on A Blog Party of Special Magnificence hosted by Hamlette over at The Edge of the Precipice! I'm a big Lord of the Rings/Middle-Earth/Tolkien fan, so I had to get in on all the Middle-Earth fun! Here are my answers to the questions...

1.  Have you read The Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit? If so, how many times?
Yes, I've read The Lord of the Rings only once (it's a slightly daunting commitment, but I want to give them another go soon!) and The Hobbit, maybe three times. (Bonus, I've also read "Farmer Giles of Ham" and "Smith of Wooton Major," two short stories by Tolkien!)

2.  Have you seen any movies based on them?
Yes! I saw Peter Jackson's trilogy before I read the books, (but after I'd read The Hobbit) and I credit them with being the movies that made me love movies as much as I do now. I've watched them (extended editions of course!) more times than I can count. My only regret is that I was a bit too young to see them when they were in theaters. I've also seen The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, but only twice so far on that one.

3.  Who first introduced you to Middle Earth?
My dad, he saw LotR in theaters, and then wanted to show them to us kids, but made us read The Hobbit first, so we'd understand the world and such. He almost made us read the whole Lord of the Rings series, but then decided it'd take too long. Turns out, I loved the movies so much I read the books willingly.

4.  Who are your three favorite characters?  (Feel free to elaborate on whys.)
This is the hardest question I've ever had to answer. Only three?? Okay... from the LotR movies only...

1. Would be Sam. He's absolutely the best, and the true hero of the story, and I love his bravery and loyalty. Frodo wouldn't have got far without Sam!

2. Boromir. I love him, he such a meaty, real character, has his moments as a bad guy, but is a hero in the end. Sean Bean plays him so well, and as per usual, has an amazing death scene. One of the best on-screen deaths I've ever seen. But even being dead, he still gets to be in the next two movies! That's how awesome he is.

3. Now is when I have to leave everyone else out, and it's a close call between the siblings, but I have to say Éomer. He's just so epic and cool. And Karl Urban. I wish he had a bigger part like I remember from the books! He and Aragorn were supposed to be good friends, and Karl and Viggo were actually friends, so it would have been neat to give them more time to develop that.

I feel so bad about leaving such great characters out though, so here's my runner-ups: Éowyn, Aragorn, Merry, Pippin, Faramir, Haldir... and Figwit!!

5.  What's your favorite Middle Earth location?
That would have to be the Shire. It's just so perfect there. I would move there in a heartbeat. I have to mention Edoras too though, because it's so breath-taking. But really, any location that shows off New Zealand is breath-taking, isn't it? Oh, Minas Tirith is incredible too.

6.  If you could belong to one of the races of Free Folk (Men, Elves, Dwarves, Hobbits, Ents), which would you choose?
It would be a toss-up between Elves and Men, either an Elf of Rivendell, or an Man (woman) of Rohan. I have the hair for either, but the hard part would be deciding if I wanted to be immortal or not. Probably not... but then again I love the Elvish language. But then again, the Rohan theme is my favorite.
 
7.  Would you rather eat lembas or taters?
I'd love to try lembas bread, but I love taters already, so I guess it'd depend on if Sam had cooked them or not!

8.  If you lived in Middle Earth, what weapon would you prefer wielding?
I think a bow would be my preferred choice. I'm a decent shot, and don't have any sword training, and a sword would be my second choice, because it's just so classic.

9.  What draws you to Tolkien's stories?  (The characters, the quests, the themes, the worlds, etc.)
The characters, the world, the fantasy, and themes, yes... but I think most importantly, the heart. It's a rare, and incredible thing.

10. List up to five of your favorite lines/quotes from the books or movies.
1. Sam's speech at the end of The Two Towers: "It's like in the old stories Mr Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness, and danger they were, and sometimes, you didn't want to know the end, because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was after so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. Those are the stories that stayed with you, that meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think Mr Frodo, I do understand, I know now; folk in those stories has lots of chances of turning back only they didn't. They kept going, because they were holding on to something. ... That there's some good left in this world, and it's worth fighting for."

2. Aragorn's speech at the black gate: "Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers. I see it in your eyes, the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come, when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. An hour of wolves, and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bit you, stand, men of the west!" And then, "For Frodo."

3. Galadriel opening the first film:  "I amar prestar an. The world has changed. Han mathon ne nen. I feel it in the water. Han mathon ne chae. I feel it in the earth. A han noston ned gwillith. I smell it in the air. Much that once was, is lost. For none now live who remember it."

4. Boromir and the Ring: "It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing..."

5. Yeah, I like the long/dramatic ones, and the oh-so-quoteable ones are great, and I'll end with a funny one:
Pippin: "What about breakfast?"
Aragorn: "You've already had it."
Pippin: "We had one, yes. What about second breakfast?"
Merry: "Don't think he knows about second breakfast, Pip."
Pippin: "What about elevensies? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn't he"
Merry: "I wouldn't count on it."

The End!

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

In the beginning of the Fellowship of the Ring, Bilbo Baggins unexpectedly gives all his possessions including a gold ring to his young cousin Frodo and goes off to live in Rivendell with the elves. Rewind sixty years, and we get to find out why...

Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman the Brilliant) is a homebody. And he likes to know his visitors BEFORE they come visiting. So when thirteen dwarves show up at his house right at dinnertime, and help themselves to everything in his pantry, he isn't too happy. Nor is he too happy with Gandalf the wizard (who else but Ian McKellen!) who brought them there. The large, hairy group talk of adventure, and invite Bilbo to join them, but of course he declines - that would be a unacceptably unexpected thing for a hobbit to do after all! Bilbo is half Took though, and that Took side must rule in the morning, because the next morning finds Bilbo chasing after the company to join them. Quite unexpectedly, and quite without his pocket-handkerchief!

Thorin Oakenshield, Balin, Dwalin, Kili, Fili, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori and Ori (And yes, I typed that without reference to anything, because, what's the point of knowing the names of all the dwarves, if you don't brag about it?) are all individual. One of the elements I thought would be the most difficult in bringing this story to the silver screen, and it worked out brilliantly, no doubt because of a lot of thought and hard work from a lot of people, including, of course, the thirteen wonderful actors who played them. The challenge of learning their names off the page became simple with each dwarf have their own distinct look and personality. The leader and would-be king of these dwarves, Thorin, was truly great casting. Though Richard Armitage doesn't normally look like a dwarf at six-foot-two, (and considerably more handsome than, say, John Rhys-Davies) prosthetics and movie magic turned him into a dwarf, and with his talent, and those intense eyes, and deep voice, the result was a rather perfect Thorin.

Thorin Oakenshield. Making dwarves look good since... well, since 2012.

The only new casting that is more brilliant than Thorin, is Bilbo. I seriously cannot give enough praise to the always incredible Martin Freeman for his spot-on performance as the title role. So funny, so endearing... undoubtedly a hobbit through and through, and the perfect reluctant hero. Kudos to director Peter Jackson for refusing to consider anyone else for the role.

Hobbits Bilbo Baggins and Pete Jackson.

And the returning cast... what can I say? Time has been kind to them in every way possible, and they all fill their roles at least as well as ever. I say "at least" mostly because of Andy Serkis. I heard him say it was interesting to bring back such a famous role as Gollum, and that he had to "reclaim him" for his own, not just "do an impression of the old character." I thought that would be hard, and I don't know, maybe it was -- however hard, it was worth it. Gollum is better than ever, and his scene (with Bilbo of course) was hand down the best in the film. Simply magical.

Andy Serkis is the man! ...precious.

But now I must be hard and mention some things I did not find... quite so magical.

It's been ten years since we've seen anything new come from Middle-Earth, and going into this film, I was hoping to feel a sense of coming home; a sentimental familiarity. It never happened to my satisfaction. The moments were there of course - every revisited place was pared with it's original theme music, and lingering shots told us "this is when you're supposed to feel that feeling" - the familiarity was there, but I felt a lack of sincerity in the moment instead of sentimentality. The beautiful sweeping landscapes were a beautiful as ever, but most of the wonder was in my wondering where it went.

My conclusion is that the technology absorbed it all.

Even at it's very best 3D can do nothing to enhance in the quality of a movie. Technology, gadgets and gizmos are not substitutes for real quality film-making. I think somebody missed the memo, and decided to spend a considerable amount of time effort and money giving this movie unnecessary bells and whistles in the form of 3D and a high frame rate of 48 frames-per-second, both of which only either did nothing for the picture, or even, sadly, degraded it. I did not see the 48fps version, but I know no one asked for it, and no one thought it was a good idea. And the general consensus from the few people who did see it that way was bad. It looked like a soap opera, it was distracting, or it made people motion-sick. And while it's still very possible that movies will someday all be made in a high frame rate, and it will become the new normal, I just wish Peter Jackson hadn't been so solely ambitious in this area, and turned his attentions to a different one. If only he had used his genius in concentrating on what really makes movies great, and what has always made movies great. Maybe then the magic would be there. Maybe the familiarity would feel less lifeless, and the new parts of Middle-Earth would stir up that "wow" feeling I missed.

You know... THAT feeling. Right there. And there.

But now I feel like I'm being too hard. It's difficult; I was fan of The Lord of the Rings movies before I read the books, but The Hobbit - the book - was my first taste of Middle-Earth, and I want to love the movie version as well as the book, which I already love. Every careless moment, I easily overlook in Lord of the Rings, but take personally in The Hobbit; everything wrong is like plain disrespect for the beloved source material. But I know it's not true. I believe these filmmakers are just as much fans as I am, so they must really be trying. Maybe they're just misguided... perhaps they don't realize that we don't want "The Lord of the Rings 2.0", we want The Hobbit -- Tolkien's original, beautiful masterpiece in all it's simple, episodic perfection!

One more of Bilbo... you don't mind right?

So don't take my nit-picking the faults of this movie too seriously. I'm overly passionate about what I think is done wrong, so it might not seem like it, but the good here really does outweigh the bad in my opinion. I'm sure more viewings and two more films will find me overall very happy with these films. The "bad" will offend less and less over time, while the wonderful moments I enjoyed and loved will never fade -- like every single scene Martin Freeman is in. Gandalf, and every one of the dwarves are a pleasure, Gollum is brilliant, and would steal the movie... if it wasn't for Bilbo... and New Zealand is as gorgeous as ever. Anyway, how could I be disappointed while I'm so feverishly anticipating the next installment... and Smaug!

Maybe Peter Jackson will have a very interesting dream tonight, where he comes to me at my death bed, and I have something important to tell him...

"I'm disa-- disapp.... I'm disapp--...."

"I know, you're disappointed I couldn't make The Hobbit like The Lord of the Rings."

"No... no no no.... I'm disappointed... that you tried"

As the music swells PJ has his epiphany, and knows what he must now do. 

Then I would quickly add, "of course, I'm not really that disappointed -- I mean, it was a good effort! You really did do a great job with the casting - who else could be Bilbo but Martin after all, and Richard Armitage was totally epic as Thorin too! In fact, all the dwarves were great, and how you defined them-- how they're all their own character-- I'm really actually impressed! Sure, there were some parts that, well, could have been better, but you know, overall... good show! So hurry up and make the next two -- and better if you can -- and I will have nothing to complain about!"

And then he will, and I won't, and I won't even die, because it was all just a dream.

- 4/5 stars