Murder on the Orient Express

Spoiler-free!

Every so often, the world requires a new version of Agatha Christie's Murder on the Orient Express. Not because no good film adaptation exists, or because there's some new gimmick or development in the world that requires the story to be made anew, but simply because it's what's done. It's a tradition! Perhaps unnecessary, but not at all unwelcome.

Much like this face decoration.

There are two great things about this latest adaptation, and they are both Kenneth Branagh. He takes the helm as lead actor and director, and the only thing that overshadows him even slightly is his glorious mustache. His directing style is so inviting yet grand; elegant yet strong. It fits the era wonderfully, and is an absolute pleasure to watch. Beautiful, but not showy, and he finagles around in the cramped train space gracefully. He directs with easy confidence, and the story is such a classic; it's a sure-fire combination for successful entertainment.

With equal confidence, he takes on the role of "probably the greatest detective in the world" Hercule Poirot; a character heavy with the baggage of many fine performances. But Branagh is more than up to the challenge, and proves the Belgian detective is far from being overdone. I expected to love his direction, but was surprised at how easily I accepted him as Poirot -- mustache and all. He disappears into the quirky, interesting role wonderfully, and is an easy stand-out among the talented and large cast. The character gets more devotion than the mystery itself, and I think that's exactly how it should be.

The rest of the cast produces absolutely no complaints whatsoever!

I'm pretty tired of seeing Johnny Depp in movies, but even he pleased me with a nice, subtle and memorable performance. Daisy Ridley didn't disappoint as a non-Star Wars character. I can't forget Tom Bateman because he was very nice. I really liked Olivia Colman, and Penélope Cruz impressed. Judi Dench, Willem Dafoe, Leslie Odom Jr., Josh Gad, Derek Jacobi and especially Michelle Pfeiffer were all excellent. I also liked the less-known Sergei Polunin and Lucy Boynton, but they were slightly forgotten, along with Manuel Garcia-Rulfo and Marwan Kenzari. With so many characters it was bound to happen.

The mystery might have been done better. My sister and her husband had recently read the book and mentioned a few left-out details they noticed and missed. I only recalled the basics going in, but everything made perfect sense to me, and I left satisfied. A few additions were also made. Some -- most really -- were uncalled for, but didn't do harm to the story either. Mainly they were meant to add a little action, but I found the plot itself to be exciting and interesting enough on its own. One did create a plot hole, which can be explained away only with some reaching. Overall it's a solid, classically simplified adaptation. 

I really enjoyed those tracking shots -- from inside and outside the train.

In fact the movie as a whole perfectly fits the description of classically simple and solid. Only one thing irked me; the ending that hinted at a sequel of Death on the Nile, and took me out of the moment for a second. There's nothing ground-breaking to see here, but nothing ground-breaking is required. As far as adaptations of this story go, I don't think you can do much better. If you're willing to be left happy, than you almost certainly will be. This is a straight-forward production of excellent quality, and a job well-done.

Stardust

Sometimes it seems that the best, most original premises for stories can be summarized in a single question. For instance, the question, "what if we aren't alone in the universe?" has sparked countless alien movies, and then "what if aliens aren't evil?" sparked countless more. The more simple and unique the question, the more interesting and unique the story could be.

So take this one; "what if the stars gaze back?" Simple and unique to be sure, and also a bit quirky -- it would be right if its story was quirky too, It's imaginative, so a fantasy, with magic and sword-fighting, and flying pirates and witches. It might be a bit cheesy, but it would also be funny, exciting and sweet.

Stardust is all these things and more. Stars do gaze back, and what more, sometimes they accidentally fall. (Shooting stars!) One star named Yvaine (Claire Danes) is unceremoniously knocked from the sky by a large gemstone set in a necklace when the dying king of the realm of Stormhold sends it flying into the night, telling his three sons that one must retrieve it to claim the throne. As the star falls, three sister witches see it, and one goes out to find it, so they can consume the heart and be young again.

"A toast! To the new king of Stormhold... whichever of you fine fellows it may be."

In 1800's England, in a small village called Wall (so named for a mysterious wall on its border), a boy named Tristan (Charlie Cox) is trying to win the hand of his beloved, the beauty of the town, Victoria (Sienna Miller). They see the star falling, and make an agreement; if Tristan can bring the star back to Victoria by her birthday in one week, she will marry him; if not, she'll marry that pompous rich fellow Humphrey (Henry Cavill, and almost totally, hilariously, unrecognizable). Tristan is determined to succeed, but no one ever crosses The Wall. Once that little hurdle is jumped there's an unexpected problem; Tristan had no idea the star would be... a woman. And she's not too keen a being a birthday gift.

Obviously, she needs some convincing. Maybe bribery.

If there is one movie that just screams "high-flying, full-throttle, incredibly fun fantasy adventure" it would be this movie. The story, based on a novel by Neil Gaiman, is wonderfully complex for a lighthearted fantasy, with basically three plot lines running simultaneously, and intersecting every now and then. Tristan and Yvaine, on a time limit, hurrying towards the wall, the witch Lamia, Michelle Pfeiffer, growing older and uglier the more magic she uses, in pursuit of the stars heart, and the youngest prince, Septimus, Mark Strong, a likable bad guy if there ever was one, in pursuit of her necklace. There's also a pirate with a fearsome reputation, Robert De Niro being unpredictable, a kidnapped princess, ghosts for comic relief, and what fairy tale would be complete without a unicorn?

Oh no! Not... unicorns!! Just kidding, everyone knows unicorns are nice!

Acting wise there's nothing special, in spite of the all-star cast, which lesser-known Charlie Cox as the unlikely, awkward hero holds up against very well. Claire Danes' sarcastic heavenly being is a little strange at first, but she grows on you. The two together don't click as well as they should, which is slightly disappointing, especially when I realized that a sweet moment between girl and mouse was just as romantic as a sweet moment between girl and boy. Still, I hardly noticed that enough to care; there's so much more to occupy your thoughts.

A star learns to waltz...

The quirky plot unfolds briskly and smoothly from beginning to end. Aided by active, sweeping cinematography moving from place to place and scene to scene seamlessly, tying everything together with style. It also showcases some beautiful, middle-earth-like locations, and some epic, magical sets. The humor is hit and miss, and as the rating says, some of it is mildly rude, but it is usually at least mildly amusing, and sometimes it hits and is downright funny. The cheesy-ness is sometimes laughable as well, but in a purposeful way. (Self-deprecating humor makes everyone like you!) The action is swashbuckling at times and magic-y at times, and is good and exciting all the time.

Yikes.

Stardust is the practically the definition of it genre. Yet I consider it to be extremely original. It succeeds in telling a fun adventure story and in making it funny, romantic and fantastic. It's very light fare -- never going deeper than about, oh, two inches, but it lightheartedness also makes it endearing... and cheesy. Still it has its "serious" moments and its fantasy action and violence. It may go overboard, but it does it whole-heartedly, making you want to join in on the craziness, the fun, the giddy enthusiasm. And with a unique, memorable story is told this well, I have nothing else to say except jump on in.

Number ten!