Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes of the Intergalactic War of the Total Carnage of the Blood of the Innocent People of the Planet of the Apes. 

As it is less-commonly known.

(Some Spoilers beyond.)

So as a result of the drug that caused the apes to become smart in Rise of the Planet of the Apes of the Beginning of the Events of the War of the Population of the Apes of the Planet of the Apes, being given to humans, there is a global epidemic that wipes out nearly all of humanity. Amongst those left are Jason Clarke, Keri Russell, and Gary Oldman. They need power, and unknowingly trespass on ape land -- Caesar's (Andy Serkis) land -- looking for it. War almost breaks out for the first two acts, and then finally does for real right as soon as the film ends.

Jason Clarke regrets signing something maybe? Or left the stove on?

Okay, right up front I have to say: this movie is just awful. I didn't expect to love it going in, but I did expect to appreciate it. I mean, seriously -- it has an impressive 90% on Rotten Tomatoes, but there's no way that a movie about smart apes warring with post-apocalyptic humans is ever going to be a favorite movie of mine. I expected to tolerate the plot, and appreciate the artistry, but the plot wound up being boring with a super-sized side of irritating, and the CGI varied from just as expected to weirdly cheap.

The animation budget seemed to be spent on just two apes -- Caesar and the villainous Koba (Toby Kebbell) -- they were the only two who were consistently flawless and perfectly detailed. The rest of the apes were generally alright -- about the quality they were in Rise. Anything that was animated and not an ape... oh my goodness. The herd of elk at the beginning looked like a video game. Even explosions looked cheap. And most interaction between man and ape was not quite convincing. The ape's expressions were realistic because there were talented actors behind that CGI, but motion-capture technology is not enough of a novelty to me anymore for that alone to impress. Is it just because I'm a year late to the party, or am I missing something?

He looks great, but honestly, I'm still more impressed by Gollum in The Lord of the Rings.

And even if the effects were as awesome as they were hyped to be there would still be that plot to deal with. Arg. First of all, whose genius idea was it for this to be a two-hour, ten-minute buildup to a war that's gonna happen in the next movie? I was waiting the whole time for nice battle of epic scope, and all I got was one little skirmish near the end. This movie was so anti-war that they actually didn't have the war. 

In the middle of the movie I had a thought that maybe they would prevent the war, and no battle would take place in the whole movie -- and that they'd filmed the battle clips showed in the trailer just to deceive us. If that had actually happened this would have been the best movie ever; but still super boring.

"Onward to war, faithful black steed!" "Yes my King Kong-- er, Koba!"

Like I said the first two acts were just the dramatic threat of war, and that was boring enough as it was, but on top of that, neither side was actually bad. Caesar, the leader of the apes, and Jason Clarke, the spokesperson for the humans were both perfectly willing to get along peacefully and trustingly.

"But people -- there has to be a war. It's important. What do we do?"
"Contrive the heck out of it."
(This was probably not a real conversation the movie's writers had.)

And in comes Koba, who hates humans, and wants them gone for good. And in comes Gary Oldman, who's a distrusting coward, and with his perfectly reasonable act of precaution of making sure the humans have the means of defending themselves, Koba is able to misunderstand and justify his rebellion. Misunderstandings. Yep. Those wonderful, ever-helpful misunderstandings.

Interestingly enough, this type of misunderstandings in movies -- of which this film could be the poster child -- is my biggest pet peeve in movies. When two seconds of thought or just a drop of common sense could make sense of the matter, but it doesn't, because this plot point it's contriving needs to happen to keep the story going. Well, the story keeps going, but now I don't even want it to.

That was what pushed the movie over the edge for me.

No. Just... no. Please.

Besides that, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes of the War of the Stupidity of the Humans and Apes of the Failed Peace of the Planet of the Apes tries so hard to be serious and culturally relevant with drama and understated statements, but does it all so wrong. It's humorless, aloof and totally uninvolving; not drawing us in, so when things get serious and dramatic we're still thinking about how ridiculous it is that apes are riding horses, and can't get involved in the emotion of the moment. And its "cultural statements" are nothing more than humanistic sentimentality designed to trick us into forgetting that this movie never actually says anything.

I love Andy Serkis, and all his work I've ever seen. And I like Jason Clarke a lot too, who gave a valiant effort to the task of carrying this huge wet blanket of a film along with Serkis. They're both superiorly talented actors, but the film swallowed them. Good grief -- it swallowed Gary Oldman for crying out loud! What kind of bottomless pit of a movie is so terrible that it pulls talent like this down with it? That is actually very impressive. I'm impressed by that. And that's about all.

Upcoming Movie Roundup - July

Welcome to a very special edition of my monthly Upcoming Movie Roundup! Today will feature nothing but why I will not be going to see any movies releasing this month. It's very exciting.

This month is looking so boring I'm wondering if I'm missing anything -- besides all the annoying horror flicks and raunchy R-rated comedies that is. I hope no one's motivation for not scheduling any interesting movies for July was because they were afraid of Transformers monopolizing the audience. That would be very sad. Actually, it's already is sad, because it could be true.

In June I did get out to see Edge of Tomorrow, which satisfied my slight craving for a fun and action-packed summer escape. And I can go ahead and tell you right now that I'll only be heading to the theater this month to add more check marks to my June list. The Fault in Our Stars is on the plan, and Snowpiercer is hanging out in limbo.

On to the new movies I won't be seeing:

Earth to Echo
July 2nd; PG
What? What is this anyway? First of all, I've yet to see a "found footage" film, and I don't plan on breaking that streak with... this. My first impression is Super 8 (or E.T. Actually, the poster is totally ripping off E.T.), except for kids, and, I don't know, sillier or weirder, but that actually makes it sound kinda good considering how good those movies are, and I don't think they deserve such a degrading comparison. This second trailer is slightly more interesting, but it'll have to do a lot better than that to convince me to not just re-watch Super 8 instead. So, all that to say, nope.




Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
July 11th; PG-13
Okay, before you judge me on this one, I have to say that this is absolutely the most interesting new release this month. But seriously. If I have to watch that roaring ape, wearing war paint, riding a horse, through fire, and wielding a machine gun (...I can't even write that without laughing...) one more time. And yes, it's Andy Serkis, and as a diligent fan of his and of the motion capture technology, I am confident I will be seeing this eventually. Just please, not in theaters. Just, no.




Lucy
July 25th: R
When I first saw this trailer I was interested. It looked like a more extreme version of Limitless except with Black Widow instead of Rocket Raccoon. And Scarlett Johansson has never led a movie solo before, so if this movie is successful, perhaps a Black Widow solo movie isn't so unlikely. Yep I was pretty intrigued. That was before the film was rated, of course. Now it's been slapped with a nice, wonderful, solid R, and I'm mildly disappointed as I say "never mind." (Oh, and that 10%-of-the-brain thing is a old myth...) It could still help bring about that Black Widow movie though perhaps...




Hercules
July 25th: Unrated
Ugh. Ugh. I don't even want to talk about this one. If it gets an R rating, I'll regret mentioning it at all. I can say one thing really positive about it though: I know for a fact it'll be better than the last Hercules movie. You know -- The Legend of Hercules? Didn't see it? Me either, but it didn't keep me from forming an opinion on it's awfulness. You can't make a movie that bad if you tried. Just ask The Producers. Okay, so, blah blah blah, The Rock, blah blah blah, wow, that's a really big lion, blah blah blah, Rufus Sewell Joseph Fiennes and John Hurt make things a little more interesting, blah. Whew, done.




Because I want to talk about something I actually find interesting, today will also feature a television special. That I will definitely be watching.

Endeavour
Sundays 9/8c, June 29th - July 20th; PBS
Series 2 of Endeavour actually premiered this past Sunday, but I'll let that slide. If you're a fan of Sherlock, then you'll know that even though I say that Endeavour isn't quite as good as Sherlock, that's still very high praise. Sherlock is unmatched in the crime drama world, but Endeavour takes second in my book. It isn't as fast-paced or hilarious, but it always features high quality, intriguing cases, top-notch acting and incredible characters, especially the lead, Shaun Evans as the amazingly understated and endearing Detective Constable Endeavour Morse. I highly recommend this show.

If you're interested, I recommend heading over to the Masterpiece website for free streaming of the latest episode, (and the last episode of series 1.) Series 1 is also instant on Netflix. But each week features a separate case so it wouldn't be too confusing to jump straight in. If you need more convincing, check out my review of series 1. Who needs movies anyway? (Ha, who am I kidding -- but still.) July is the month of Endeavour!



Do you see something in these new releases that I missed? Or is this looking like a dud month from your perspective as well? Sound off in the comments!

Upcoming Movie Roundup -- February

Looks like February is set and ready to live up to its tradition of continuing January's slow season of unexceptional and mediocre movies. Bring it on!

The Monuments Men
Feb 7th; PG-13
Written and directed by, and starring George Clooney, along with an all-star cast of Matt Damon, John Goodman, Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett, and Hugh Bonneville, this history pic about WWII soldiers tasked with rescuing art from the Nazis is already disappointing a majority of the critics. It never really caught my fancy to begin with, but apparently it uses its premise and Expendables-style cast to succeed in not much more than being the poster-child of this month's traditional mediocrity.




The Lego Movie
Feb 7th; PG
I expect this movie will be the most popular and highest rated movie of the month. Why? Because kiddie movies aren't as affected by the awards season. While everyone who wants to see serious movies skips The Monuments Men to catch up on all those films getting Oscar attention, kids (and discerning adults too) who just need some fun and silly escapism will hopefully find this to be exactly what the doctor ordered. The trailer is very funny and promising, so hopefully it'll deliver, and didn't use up all the good jokes.




RoboCop
Feb 12th; PG-13
I have never seen the original film, and haven't been following the production of this remake (which seems to have a lot of people talking about it with very strong opinions) so my impressions are pretty uninformed. My main impression is that the only thing that caught my attention and seems to hint at this being anything other than another unnecessary remake is Gary Oldman, because he is awesome... but I doubt it'll help. My second impression is that I don't understand the plot at all. Oh, remakes.




Winter's Tale
Feb 14th; PG-13
Aha, another defining feature of February movie releases: Valentines Day movies! This one looks confusing and complicated (apparently involves time travel of some obscure variety) but mostly it looks sappy. Overwhelmingly sappy. Sappy romance, sappy drama... Colin Farrel making sappy faces which you'll never notice because you're too distracted by his awful sappy hairstyle. I wouldn't even have included it here except for one thing; Jessica Brown Findlay. My one consolation for her leaving Downton Abbey is that I'd get to see her in movies... and then she does this.




Pompeii
Feb 21st PG-13
Okay, I can't figure out this one. At first I thought for sure it was going to be a overacted, cheesy and melodramatic romance with an underdeveloped backdrop of Pompeii used as a device, but then I actually watched the trailer and was surprised to discover that it has all the signs of being a two-bit disaster flick. That was unexpected. My impression now is 2012, but with Romans. I can't decide if that makes it more interesting or less...




Non-Stop
Feb 28th; PG-13
"Liam Neeson's plane gets taken" -- someone that was not me. Actually, a more accurate movie to compare this new Neeson mystery-thriller to would be Unknown since it is by the same director. Unfortunately, Unknown was considerably less popular than Taken although it was only slightly less well-reviewed. I liked it alright, and this looks even more promising and unique and stylishly filmed. (Notice they're using the Sherlock text-message-floating-in-the-air trick?) The addition of Michelle Dockery in the cast is a big plus too. Still, it seems like a awful lot of the plot was revealed in the trailer...



So, is February the month where you catch up on seeing Oscar nominated films, or are you holding out for a new-release?

Upcoming Movie Roundup -- August

Well, this looks like a generally dull month of new movie releases. The most potentially interesting movie, Elysium, just got an R rating, which is disappointing to me because I try to stay away from R-rated movies as a general rule. Sadly, the strong rating is also a good sign for the movie's quality. If I get to a theater this month it'll most likely be to play catch-up. Unless I take a sudden fancy to some surprise hit, or perhaps read and love this series of books...

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters
Releasing on the 7th; PG.
Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman) and friends are back for round two. With the addition of fan-drawing actors Nathan Fillion, Anthony Head and Stanley Tucci. And I must say, it's working on me. I almost want to see this for Nathan Fillion alone. I saw The first film on a whim because it was free, and I enjoyed it. (Never mind that it was late and my brothers were cracking jokes about it the whole time.) Cheesy, a little immature, but definitely fun. So I'm mildly interested in the franchise now, but I have never read the books, and I will not go to theaters to see this one unless I have. By the trailer, I'd say they at least made an effort to kick it up a notch, and I did mention Nathan Fillion right?




Paranoia
Releasing the 16th; PG-13.
Liam Hemsworth leads a office mystery/thriller. The lesser Hemsworth (as he will probably always be to me) stars as a usual, unusually good-looking guy who get caught in the middle of a corporate war between Gary Oldman and Harrison Ford. Mystery, danger, drama and action ensues. Apparently. This movie looks good, in the most purely superficial sense of the word. It's pretty and glossy but as to a meaningful plot, it doesn't look quite as promising. (The trailer appears to summarize the whole movie excluding the ending.) The cast is what interests me most; Oldman and Ford are always great, and though he is the lesser one, Hemsworth isn't bad either, and I'm really interested to see if he can pull off being the action hero. Still, the cast isn't enough to convince me to see it, (especially if the film is as inappropriate as the trailer implies) but if the plot surprises and turns out better than it appears to be, or if Hemsworth surprises and holds up against his villainous co-stars, I may surprise, and take an interest.




Austenland
the 16th, limited; PG-13.
Cazy-Austen-fan Keri Russel saves up her money and goes on a Austen retreat, where people live how they would have in those days. Hilarity and romance may or may not ensue. This movie is like a good-news/bad-news scenario. Good news: it's made specifically for people who love Jane Austen. Bad news: it's really more like a spoof of Austen, and it's produced by Stephanie Meyer. (What...?) J. J. Feild plays the apparent hero... named Henry, which is both good, because I like Feild, and bad, because that reference is a bit too obvious for me. I want to see it because of it's Austen connection, but I'm afraid it could easily wander into territory that is a bit (for lack of a better word) sacrilegious. Early reviews on RT are pretty negative, which supports my theory, but, then again, Bret McKenzie (Figwit!) is also in it, so... maybe I'll have to give it a watch sometime after all.




Bonus: I'm mentioning "The Way, Way Back" again, since I still haven't seen it because its still not in my theater. (And because there's nothing else I want to talk about.) Since it's original release in the beginning of July, I've been tracking reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. Turns out, bad idea, because I'm dying to see it more than ever, and who knows when I'll get the chance. Reviews on RT are generally glowing, saying that if you're tired of half-hearted summer action flicks full of numbing explosions from beginning to end then this movie is like a beautiful breath of fresh air. A truly funny and moving coming-of-age story with top-notch performances all around, and Sam Rockwell tearing it up in his most Rockwell-iest role ever. I must. See. This. Movie!



What new releases are you looking forward to this month?

The Dark Knight Trilogy

(Spoiler warning: they may pop up anywhere… especially at the end!)

Batman Begins--

The trilogy begins with a ground-breaking idea that superheroes can be taken seriously, and gives us a totally believable origin story for one of the world’s most believable superheroes. There are three points to cover (in my opinion) in order to make a good, complete story, and the first is covered exactly right in this movie; the hero.

Young Bruce Wayne sees his parents murdered in front of him and grows into a hate-filled man with his eyes on revenge, whatever the cost. Life-changing words from the girl he loves and a crime boss change his mind and send Bruce around the world in an attempt to understand criminals, and what it’s like to have nothing. A mysterious man finds him and offers him a chance to change and make a change with just a little ninja training and spiritual guidance. The latter doesn’t exactly stick for Bruce, as he decides he will never needlessly kill anyone, when it’s required of him to finish his training. He becomes a League of Shadows drop-out, and returns to Gotham determined to honor his father, and serve the city, mostly by locking up every criminal he can find. Using a piece of advice from his mentor - and to protect his loved ones - a costume is in order, and before you can start to sing “na na na na na…” the Batman is born.

The majority of Bruce Wayne/Batman’s character development happens in this movie; at the end he’s a hero, and this movie is about his journey, from beginning to heroism. And finally it's done right - finally we get to understand Bruce. He’s no longer stylized, campy, melodramatic, or plain silly; he’s real, and his superhero status is believable.

The amazing, and visionary director, Christopher Nolan, is of course the person to thank for this. He knows how to make a movie true to life without tossing out the pleasure of watching a movie for entertainment. The key appears to be to make it dark; the real world is a dark place after all. But there is more to it that just that, and what really impressed me were all the details. Why bats, for an example? “Bats frighten me,” says Bruce, “it’s time my enemies shared my dread.”

Christian Bale is Batman. He wonderfully embodies the complex character with powerful subtlety. Previous renditions of the character practically crumble into nothing, and anyone who may try to take on the role anytime in the near future would probably be crazy, and therefore would do a bad job of it. And who else could ever play Alfred but Michael Caine? I mean, come on. Gary Oldman is perfect as Gordon, a more traditional brand of hero everyone loves to cheer for. Don’t forget Morgan Freeman as Mr. Fox, and Katie Holmes as Rachel Dawes is lovely, but unfortunately doesn’t last. And the antagonists, Cillian Murphy, and Liam Neeson, put out their due amount of evil and creepiness according to their character to satisfaction.

Batman Begins is a classic movie really, starting with a flawed character in need of change, and ending with that character saving the day and becoming a new person; a hero. This is done to perfection, but “ending” is the key word here… there is a good and satisfying end. Batman’s identity as a hero is established, and the character’s arc is complete, but this is only the first movie, and we want more, so, what now?

The Dark Knight--

Well, there's two of my three points left to cover, and the second one is a test. We have to know that the Batman can hold to his morals, and will never give up on his city no matter how bleak things get. Usually, this is where a sequel comes out, trying to re-sell the same format of the first film by putting a different plot on it, and that’s why sequels don’t work… usually. There’s no worries when Nolan is at the helm. He knows how to make a sequel that doesn’t feel like a re-hash. The key now is to go even darker, and more intimate, and bring on a storm of trials to push our hero to his limits. Enter the Joker.

Heath Ledger’s turn as the Joker is very good… very, very good. Perhaps too good... in a word, convincing… in the highest sense of the word. We’re not supposed to understand him, and honesty, I don’t want to. And with his great performance, it’s easy to forget everyone else in the movie, but Bale continues to be good, despite this movie not being quite as much about his characters development as the previous one. Maggie Gyllenhaal does a fine job replacing Holmes, and adds spunk to Rachel. But Aaron Eckhart as Two-Face Harvey Dent is my personal favorite. He holds up very well against the Ledger's overpowering Joker and leaves a heavy impression with a sad and thought-provoking role.

The movie as a whole, in fact, is very thought-provoking, but also very entertaining, with great action, and real drama; it’s a truly well-done movie that succeeds on every level it goes to. If you can survive the darkness, the contrasting light is well worth it. Or just sit back and enjoy the artistic beauty, or the smart involving script, and stylish action. I always consider the middle movie of a trilogy to typically be the worst, due to the difficulty of providing a satisfying beginning and end to the story, but I don’t have any evidence at all to prove that here. This is the most well-done film in the franchise, and in my opinion, also has the best ending of the three movies.

I won’t go over plot details here, mostly because I can’t exactly remember them straight, but basically, the Joker raises @#!*% , and destroys lives, and then we watch the aftermath, and how characters deal with their crumbled worlds. Harvey Dent begins a good man, but he breaks under pressure and becomes the very thing that destroyed him. Bruce gets the same treatment, but he somehow hangs on. Broken, but not defeated Batman maintains his heroism, (to the audience at least) and holds to his morals. He is committed to doing whatever it takes to save the world. Now we know that for sure. There’s only one thing left now. We saw the journey to his being a hero, and he scraped through the test at great personal cost, now all we need is an end.

The Dark Knight Rises--

But we don’t know that. I think I’d be happy to see more movies about Bruce Wayne beating the odds and defeating evil for as long as they continue to be good and entertaining, but Nolan knows… yes, he knows a lot of things… and he knows we need an end. The third point; every story needs an end, and Nolan has it covered in Rises. It’s got to be hard to end a franchise, but if you don’t, it will eventually fizzle out anyway, so it’s best to end it sooner, and end it well. Though, “well” is a rather dull way to describe the way this movie wrapped up the franchise. “Satisfying,” “amazing” and “epic” are better words for the job.

Of course, there can’t be just an ending, so this movie provides a new test for the Dark Knight as well. Eight years later, the Batman is in hiding, and Bruce turned to a recluse is never seen either, but the fix he offered up in the last movie stuck, and the city has been a better and cleaner place. Until Bane shows up, terrorizing the city as he puts his devastating plan in motion. Bruce is eager become Batman just one more time, and thinks he’s ready to give his life to save the city, but this time he’s not the only one willing to give everything to stand against evil.

Commissioner Gordon has always been helpful, but in the Batman’s absence he steps up, and does all he can to keep the evil at bay, along with newcomer Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who jumps right in as John Blake, a young, idealistic cop with spirit, who is this movie's most straight-forward and honest hero. Then there’s Anne Hathaway, also new, playing Selina Kyle, who has her share of problems, but does the right and selfless thing when it really counts. I like that these characters are really focused on and fleshed out as leads along with Bale, and the ensemble feel they bring to the movie is great.

Played very well by Tom Hardy, Bane is sufficiently evil, and his composed, boiling rage disturbing. He’s powerful in every way, but thankfully doesn’t overpower any other characters. Marion Cotillard as Miranda Tate is disappointing in the best way possible, with both the good and bad side played convincingly. Maybe it’s only because I tried to stay spoiler-free going into this movie, but I thought the plot twists were handled very well, and weren't too confusing, or unbelievable.

How could anyone doubt that Christopher Nolan knows what he’s doing? He very successfully wraps up the trilogy with this film, not getting lazy in any aspect, giving us smart and unique plotting, involving acting from an all-around stellar cast, and powerful tone. Probably the hardest of the three movies to do right, but right it definitely is. My only complaint is very small; that it gets a little slow in the middle, but hey, at two hours and forty-five minutes, “a little slow” for a few minutes is pretty impressive, especially when you're not making a Lord of the Rings movie.

These three movies are built very differently, yet they fit together like it had been planned the whole time, and each brings something unique to the table. This dark, thrilling and powerful trilogy has really set a high standard for movie heroes of a super persuasion, by succeeding as more than just a superhero movie. It ponders the meaning of heroism, the effects of evil on society and the individual character, and delves in deep. It gives us an awesome, breath-taking visual experience, and a dark, chilling, but ultimately rewarding story, just brimming with thoughtful details. And finally, it gives us the right conclusion, where good prevails against the dark and the hero is rewarded for his sacrifice. A hero, a test, and an end… our Dark Knight delivered and gave us a solid, satisfying conclusion that resonates. My appreciative thanks go to Nolan, for a deep, exciting, and unique franchise.

- 4&1/2 of 5 stars, for each movie.

Hello, John Blake franchise?