Welcome to a very special edition of my monthly Upcoming Movie Roundup! Today will feature nothing but why I will not be going to see any movies releasing this month. It's very exciting.
This month is looking so boring I'm wondering if I'm missing anything -- besides all the annoying horror flicks and raunchy R-rated comedies that is. I hope no one's motivation for not scheduling any interesting movies for July was because they were afraid of Transformers monopolizing the audience. That would be very sad. Actually, it's already is sad, because it could be true.
In June I did get out to see Edge of Tomorrow, which satisfied my slight craving for a fun and action-packed summer escape. And I can go ahead and tell you right now that I'll only be heading to the theater this month to add more check marks to my June list. The Fault in Our Stars is on the plan, and Snowpiercer is hanging out in limbo.
On to the new movies I won't be seeing:
Earth to Echo
July 2nd; PG
What? What is this anyway? First of all, I've yet to see a "found footage" film, and I don't plan on breaking that streak with... this. My first impression is Super 8 (or E.T. Actually, the poster is totally ripping off E.T.), except for kids, and, I don't know, sillier or weirder, but that actually makes it sound kinda good considering how good those movies are, and I don't think they deserve such a degrading comparison. This second trailer is slightly more interesting, but it'll have to do a lot better than that to convince me to not just re-watch Super 8 instead. So, all that to say, nope.
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
July 11th; PG-13
Okay, before you judge me on this one, I have to say that this is absolutely the most interesting new release this month. But seriously. If I have to watch that roaring ape, wearing war paint, riding a horse, through fire, and wielding a machine gun (...I can't even write that without laughing...) one more time. And yes, it's Andy Serkis, and as a diligent fan of his and of the motion capture technology, I am confident I will be seeing this eventually. Just please, not in theaters. Just, no.
July 25th: R
When I first saw this trailer I was interested. It looked like a more extreme version of Limitless except with Black Widow instead of Rocket Raccoon. And Scarlett Johansson has never led a movie solo before, so if this movie is successful, perhaps a Black Widow solo movie isn't so unlikely. Yep I was pretty intrigued. That was before the film was rated, of course. Now it's been slapped with a nice, wonderful, solid R, and I'm mildly disappointed as I say "never mind." (Oh, and that 10%-of-the-brain thing is a old myth...) It could still help bring about that Black Widow movie though perhaps...
July 25th: Unrated
Ugh. Ugh. I don't even want to talk about this one. If it gets an R rating, I'll regret mentioning it at all. I can say one thing really positive about it though: I know for a fact it'll be better than the last Hercules movie. You know -- The Legend of Hercules? Didn't see it? Me either, but it didn't keep me from forming an opinion on it's awfulness. You can't make a movie that bad if you tried. Just ask The Producers. Okay, so, blah blah blah, The Rock, blah blah blah, wow, that's a really big lion, blah blah blah, Rufus Sewell Joseph Fiennes and John Hurt make things a little more interesting, blah. Whew, done.
Because I want to talk about something I actually find interesting, today will also feature a television special. That I will definitely be watching.
Sundays 9/8c, June 29th - July 20th; PBS
Series 2 of Endeavour actually premiered this past Sunday, but I'll let that slide. If you're a fan of Sherlock, then you'll know that even though I say that Endeavour isn't quite as good as Sherlock, that's still very high praise. Sherlock is unmatched in the crime drama world, but Endeavour takes second in my book. It isn't as fast-paced or hilarious, but it always features high quality, intriguing cases, top-notch acting and incredible characters, especially the lead, Shaun Evans as the amazingly understated and endearing Detective Constable Endeavour Morse. I highly recommend this show.
If you're interested, I recommend heading over to the Masterpiece website for free streaming of the latest episode, (and the last episode of series 1.) Series 1 is also instant on Netflix. But each week features a separate case so it wouldn't be too confusing to jump straight in. If you need more convincing, check out my review of series 1. Who needs movies anyway? (Ha, who am I kidding -- but still.) July is the month of Endeavour!
Do you see something in these new releases that I missed? Or is this
looking like a dud month from your perspective as well? Sound off in the